'Help! I need advice on creating my dating profile!'
You’re finally ready to get back out there. Congrats! There’s a lot of excitement and learning experiences ahead. Embrace the adventure! If you’ve decided your first step is to make an online dating profile, you’re headed in the right direction. I am a huge fan of online dating, whether it’s in your hometown or while travelling. It’s often the most efficient way to meet other singles and people you would never cross paths with otherwise.
Actually preparing the profile can be a little daunting, right? This whole new world of online dating creates concerns we’ve never had before, from which photo to use, to what to write, to how much information to share online.
I want to help, so I’ve put together some advice based on my experiences.
Profile Photos:
Pick Something Current
Here’s the thing, I totally understand the urge to feature that beautiful photo from your vacation to Tulum ten years ago, but that’s a pinch of false advertising. You want to be honest. Be proud of who you are at this exact point in your life and choose photos as current as possible. Don’t have anything new to use? Ask a friend for help! Invite them to lunch at a pretty, well-lit spot and get snap happy!
If you can afford it, consider hiring a professional photographer to take some headshots and a full-length photo or two. Photos really are the most important part of online dating because attraction first begins on a primal, sub-conscious level - do you find each other physically attractive? It’s really that basic (whether we like it or not 😉).
Wear Your Favorite Outfit
There is a certain kind of undeniable confidence we all have in our favorite outfit. You know it’s true! If you’re taking some new photos for the profile, put on your favorite outfit and work it.
Selfies Are Great Too
Social media is a sea of selfies now and dating apps are no different. If a friend isn’t available or you just don’t feel comfortable posing in public, snap some selfies at home. Try to use natural light if you can. It makes us look (and feel) beautiful!
About You:
Pick a Dating App That Asks Questions & Narrows the Field
Hinge, OKCupid, eHarmony and a few others out there do a lot of the heavy lifting by asking questions to fill out your profile. If you’re just getting back out there and learning the ropes of online dating, these are the best to start with. Answering the questions can give you ideas for other apps like Tinder and Bumble that have open bio sections for you to fill out on your own.
Ask a Friend
A friend of mine used to write her friends’ dating profiles. Isn’t that hysterical? So many of us have a hard time talking about ourselves, but we all love to brag about our friends right? You could ask a friend to write it for you or ask a few friends the same question like ‘What’s your favorite thing to do with me?’ or ‘How would you describe me in 3 words?’
List Your Job and Interests, If You’re Comfortable
Jobs and interests are a great starting point for conversations. Share as much as you’re comfortable with (without it being possible to figure out precisely where you live and/or work, for safety reasons). Consider mentioning your educational level and alma mater if education is important to you in a partner.
Stay Positive & Be Honest
Remind yourself of all the reasons why you’re worthy of love and companionship before you create your profile. Feel and convey confidence. Just make sure you’re being honest on the profile you create. Remember, the goal is to be yourself and meet people who appreciate YOU for being YOU.
Using The App:
Be Choosy
The best part of using a dating app is no one really knows if you swiped right or left (or whatever mechanism it is for your app of choice), so be selfish. Select the profiles that actually intrigue or excite you. This way, when the conversation gets started you’re all the more thrilled and you’re not wasting time or energy on something that’s not the real deal.
Don’t Be Afraid to Get the Conversation Started
I personally like sitting back and waiting for them to make the first move, but that suits my personality. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to get the ball rolling! There was an article a little while ago about people asking for restaurant suggestions from online matches. That’s one way to start a conversation and provide insights into who they are.
How to Spot a Good Date:
Be Positive They Exist
You can’t spot what you don’t think you’ll see!
No Negativity, No Arrogance
Boy Bye or Thank U, Next, or whatever your chosen catch phrase is to say See Ya to a person that is not worth your time. If there are any negative comments about relationships (or women!) or any arrogance and self aggrandizing behavior, you get out of that conversation stat! Remember, you deserve better.
A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words
Like the old adage says, photos are really telling especially since they choose a distinct few for their profile. What are they up to in their photos? Do they have a lot with friends? Are they very active? Do they travel a lot? For one thing, what’s going on in their photos is usually a great way to find a conversation starter. And another, their photos should help you decide if they are actually a good match for you. If something doesn’t seem right, follow that gut instinct and avoid a date.
How’s The Conversation?
Does it feel natural? Or a little too forced for your liking? This is a subjective one, but let the ease (or lack thereof) tell you whether or not you should meet in person.
Save the First Date Questions (If You Can)
I like to save some of the typical first date questions for the actual date, but collect enough information that you start to get a sense of who they are. What they do and what their interests are supply solid clues, but I like to allow for further discussion on the actual date, pocketing ones about their family, friends, where they went to school, etcetera once we’re face-to-face.
Look for Cues about Character
You want to be around good, kind people, right? Look for hints of who they are. Do they post photos with family and friends? Do they have big, endearing, natural smiles? When they text, how do they communicate? Do you feel uplifted after your interactions with this person?
Finally, maybe I should move this last point to the very top and write it in all caps. The most vital thing in all of this is to remember that the goal of online dating is to GET TO A DATE. A face-to-face, real date! You’re not looking for a pen pal. So make sure there’s consistent momentum to actually getting in the same room together, otherwise you’re wasting time in meeting someone who’s actually going to enhance your life.
Are you ready to make that profile happen? Contact me via Instagram and let me know how it goes! I’m excited for you!
And if not love, it could be just a great date! 😉