Loneliness is the subject that clears out a room...?

Hey!  Where did everybody go?

But in all seriousness, I’ve been thinking about this subject and recently had heart-to-hearts with two different single friends about loneliness.  It’s something that’s not often talked about. Maybe it is a bit of a taboo?

#Loneliness is something that can be felt whether you’re in a relationship or not. (I’d argue that sometimes the most aching loneliness can be felt within a relationship, when you’re in a state of disconnection from your partner.)

There’s no question that when you’re dating and on the quest to find your special person that it can sometimes be a lonely experience.  The frustration of something just not feeling “right”, not to mention all the near misses.  And is it possible that in a world of dating apps where dozens of new people can be ordered up on our doorstep that it can just underscore a feeling of isolation? That it’s not about just any warm body – it’s about finding your person?

What exactly is loneliness, anyway? A dictionary definition is “sadness because one has no friends or company.” I don’t agree.  To me, loneliness is about a desire for connection and that connection cannot be satisfied with just any random friend or interchangeable companion, it’s more complex than that.  I think it’s about being seen and truly understood by another human being.

Loneliness is not fatal and perhaps it’s unavoidable.  We will all feel it at various points in our lives.  Maybe it’s even a friend rather than foe.  Henry Rollins says, “Loneliness adds beauty to life.  It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” I agree.  Allowing loneliness to dwell within us for a time means that when it leaves and its opposite appears, that joy of connection is felt even more deeply. What are your thoughts?